A few days later11:26 am
And I'm ok. The run up to Florence's birthday was hard, so many ghosts. The day itself was calm and mostly ok.
We got up early,( I woke at 4.54am exactly) packed our picnic and Florence's flowers, and headed off to the cemetery via the balloon shop.
I almost burst into tears when the lady in the balloon shop asked if the balloons were for a birthday, but I didn't, and she quickly understood my mumbled reply and was very kind.
Of course, I should've bought spare balloons, not two minutes down the road and one had popped! Not really surprising with a car full of seven people, a picnic, a large bunch of flowers and eight helium filled balloons.
The cemetery was quiet, and sunny. We arranged the flowers, and the children blew bubbles left over from my brothers wedding. Then we let the balloons go.
We didn't plan it, but it just happened that we timed the balloon release for the time she died.
After the cemetery we headed off to Florence's wood for a picnic and a walk.
On the way home, both Woody and I were hit by a huge wave of exhaustion. I still forget just what a slog grief can be. Two years out and it's still so tiring, such toil.
Woody and I watched the sunrise on Saturday morning, and that's when the tears came.
I want to say thank you so much to everyone who remembered with us. We came home to flowers and cards, and messages, and they mean so much to us.
We love you baby girl x