I decided to knit something really simple, and since Ernest refuses to wear jumpers these days I thought I might have more success with a cardigan.
I began following a random pattern online, which I can't find now, but once I'd got past the shoulder shaping I just winged it. The sleeves could probably have done with some shaping, but I think I might get away with it.
The buttons were 50p from Oxfam, and the label is an old one from stash.
I'm pretty happy with the results, you know considering I'm a really average knitter.
Ernest though says it's "rubbish" and refuses point blank to even try it on!
I like to always have some knitting in progress that I call my therapy knitting. I prefer it to be on two needles, and super simple so I can work it in the dark or on a long car journey when I still need to watch the road to avoid travel sickness.
I've tried therapy knitting with cheap yarn, but it works best for me in nice yarn.
This is my latest piece of therapy knitting. I used four balls of Rowan, Creative Focus Worsted. Three in teal and one in this lovely chartreuse.
I cast on 60 stitches and knitted in stocking stitch until I ran out of yarn, then simply joined each end to make a loop.
I know I've broken lots of knitting rules, knitting a scarf in stocking stitch, but I like the rolling in quality and the right/wrong sides showing, so I don't much care about breaking rules.
I even quite like that my hair clashes with the scarf....not so keen on showing my wrinkles in these photos, but I tell myself to embrace them, they are a luxury denied to those that die young. (still don't like them though!)
After yesterday's outburst, I'm feeling a little sheepish this morning, but very very thankful for all your kind and thoughtful comments. (always!)
It's half term here, and I'm hoping a rest, or rather a change of routine will shed a different light on things, but when the children are back to school in a weeks time, I'm going to screw up all my courage and seek help, if I don't you each have permission to boot me hard in the direction of my gp surgery!
I've not been idle this week, I've several projects on the go,but I've finished another little vest for Ernest, using the same Pickles pattern as before, and some beautiful yarn I was gifted just after Ernest was born.
Oh yes, and check out my other blog there's a Flossie's Garden give away.
Finished this little vest last night, a lovely fast knit,and practical too.
I used this lovely pattern.
A hat!
OK, so it's not going to fit for long, but honestly I'm done with this one. My first attempt was waaaay too small, my second I messed up on the decreases, and finally this is complete (with mistakes), but I'm sooo ready to start something else that I'm going to live with the imperfections, even though I know they will drive me bonkers!
Made using this pattern.
I also finished some dribble bibs. I've always scoffed at this style of bib,but I've never had such a drooly baby before, and apparently this style works well.
I have the next two sizes up ready to go, and hopefully a home for this little bonnet, must knit quicker!
This little cardy has been very almost finished for a while, last night I finally stitched on the collar and buttons.
Pattern from Baby Bloom, by Erika Knight, yarn Rowan Cashsoft 4ply.
Trying to get a good photo was tricky!
I've enough yarn left for a matching hat, just haven't found the right pattern yet.
The little cardigan I started knitting when I was in labour is now finished, but only just fits.
Ernest is 9lbs 12oz now, and growing out of things before he has a chance to wear them!
This vest will get a few more wears at least.
I do love a baby kitted out in yummy woolliness. It's bittersweet pulling out things I knitted when pregnant with Florence and then dressing Ernest in them, but oooh he's just so snuggable in these soft wool longies and cardigan.
Making use of the bedside crib for a change too.
For anyone interested both patterns are Elizabeth Zimmermann, the yarn Debbie Bliss Baby Cashmerino.
I cast on this matinee coat yesterday, I'm knitting it in size 3-6 mths, thinking of cooler weather come September, all very practical for a normal pregnant Mama, but a minefield of emotions for this one.
Knitting has never really been my forte.I usually enjoy it,but get frustrated with my lack of skill. This pregnancy however, keeping my fingers busy in the repetitive click clack of the needles has been calming. I don't understand it,but it works.
I had thought perhaps I'd knitted enough for baby boy, but having nothiing on the needles was disconcerting. A new knitting book and an expensive trip to the yarn store, and I'm feeling..well not better, but calmer.
I still cried as I cast this on yesterday.
I said in my last post how I'd only really started to just think of myself as pregnant, and I think the realisation that sometime fairly soon I'm going to deliver a baby, and he's either going to live or he's going to die is hitting me full force.
I'm distracted, and I'm exhausted and I'm scared.
I really just want to be normal again, to rub my belly in public and glow with anticipation. I used to love pregnancy, I was confident in my pregnant body.
I want to say to Eden that the dinosaur she's making for baby boy is lovely without pondering silently that it's actually too big to fit in a coffin.
I want to not wonder how or where I'll store all of the baby things if we don't need them.
I want to pull the bedside crib out of storage without thinking it might only have to go back again.
I want to not be afraid of going to the baby store to order a pram.
I want to not have to sit on my hands whenever I see a comment on a forum from a normal happy preggo, about normal happy preggo stuff.
I want to not look up and catch women in the playground glancing in my direction in pity, then looking away.
I want to believe everything will be ok, but I don't want people who barely know me to tell me it will all be ok this time. They don't know, they didn't hold their child in their arms as she took her last breath, as her heart stopped beating....
I just want baby boy here, safe and sound x
I've been bootie knitting.
First Picot Trim Booties, from a pattern in Quick Baby Knits by Debbie Bliss. I used some sock yarn I happened to have in my stash. Love these, and have put them in my hospital bag.
Next Saartje Booties, knitted in Jacobs sheep yarn. I posted a pic of these the other day,but a couple of people asked for the link to the pattern,so here it is.
And lastly, some simple garter stitch booties, pattern from Quick Baby Knits again, and using Debbie Bliss Baby Cashmerino.
Another quick knit. I love this yarn, it's Jacob Sheep yarn, so the colour is the colour of the sheep, and it smells so divinely woolly.
Well meaning people keep asking me every day how I am. I'm not sure what reply they want to hear.
When I tell them that physically everything is fine, they look relieved, and I say quietly in my head "but everything was fine with Florence". I think most people still don't get that. In fact I know some people think that having her at home somehow caused her death. No one wants to think that sometimes babies just die and no one knows why.
People are reassured when I tell them I have a consultant, and I'm going to hospital this time, they just don't get it.
Sid's teacher asked me yesterday if I was having a c section this time. While it's a possibility, my consultant has already stated quite clearly that had Florence been born by c section, she still would have died.
Physically I am fine, and as far as we know so is baby boy. Inside my head though, well that's quite a different story. Sometimes I wish I was like Worzel Gummidge, and could take off this head,swap it with another for a while, just for a break.
Can't do that though, so I'll just keep on keeping on, and even though I cried while sewing the buttons on this little vest,I'll just keep on hoping baby boy gets to wear it, and wishing Florence were here to get under my feet and stop me having so much time to knit.
Finished this little soaker last night with the left over yarn from the Milo Vest.
I used the Little Seedlings pattern, which knitted up very easily and very quickly. I do think it's very cute, but I know despite having knitted the size small (10-16lbs) it's never going to fit baby boy, at least not over any of his fitted cloth nappies. I might get away with a muslin, but I think it's more likely I'll use it over a disposable, just to look pretty. (We are taking disposable nappies to hospital)
I'll probably knit this up again in a larger size, and possibly add more to the rise.
Meanwhile, I justsorted through my modest yarn stash and found just enough (I hope) of some Jacobs Sheep yarn to knit the pebble vest. So that really is next on my list.
(Oh and yeah, the colour is a bit off in this pic, the light in here today is very bright, but it seems blocking some of it out has made everything a bit yellow.)
Just finished this Milo Vest with Owl cable this morning.
Next on the baby knitting list is The Pebble Vest.
I finished the blanket I've been working on for baby boy. I started knitting this in the early weeks of pregnancy when everything was so unsure. I thought if I could just knit and keep my hands busy...
So, I kept on knitting until I ran out of yarn, then inspired by the Bunny Blanket in Vintage Baby Knits, I added three little bunnies in this lovely floral cotton, and bound the edges of the blanket with Killington Flannel.
Lots of hand stitching, which I always find therapeutic, and I'm really happy with the "homespun" finish.
There is a lot of love in this blanket, and I think it's going to the hospital with us.
I bought the pattern for this after falling in love with the ones Kat knitted. ( Be careful, clicking on that link to Kats blog WILL make your ovaries ache! )
A lovely simple pattern with no sewing up, though my technique especially around the armholes needs a bit of work, good job I've got yarn for another ready and waiting.
I've actually been working!
Woody and my big girls were all off school and work today with this horrible flu bug that's been doing the rounds. They are thankfully at the tail end of the illness,but I thought it best to cancel my plans for today anyway, which kinda left me at a loose end. My big girls were happy lying on the sofa, and Woody was pottering about gently.
So, I decided to see how it would feel doing some work on my sketchbooks, and y'know it felt pretty good, if a little scary.
I moved all my art equipment into the dining room a while ago. The light is better there than in my usual work space. I even have a pack away inspiration board...it's one of those jigsaw folders,but works well for my purposes too.
Lets hope I can keep this up. If I'm honest I'm waiting for the crash that usually comes after a few ok days.
Oh yes, and I finished another Baktus too.
I was planning more of these,but I've voluntered to make blankets for the bereavement suite at my local hospital. Something useful I can do that will hopefully give a little comfort to other bereaved parents.
Finished this a couple of evenings ago, but only got around to weaving in the ends today.
I used this free pattern on Ravelry.This was a good stash busting project. I'm not much of a knitter,but I do like to have something on the go to do in the evenings while I watch rubbish telly. (my fave at the moment is Ghost Whisperer. The lead actress has a great wardrobe!)
The yarn is a Rowan 4ply I bought from a bargain bin about four years ago at Sewing For Pleasure. I still have lots left, but at least I've made a dent in my yarn stash.
Might cast on this tonight to stash bust some of the sock yarn sat lounging in my yarn basket, that, lets face it, is probably never going to be socks.
How can I be so blessed in so many ways, unyet not have my precious baby Florence here with me?
Today, a parcel came. I wasn't expecting anything and was confused by the return address, recognising the name as one of my friends from an online sewing group,I've been a part of for a looong time now.
We've supported each other through many ups and downs of life over the past eight or so years. Some of us have met, and some of us haven't.
Inside the box was a card with the message "A warm woolly hug from all of sns chatter", and the most beautiful blanket I've ever seen.
I'm guessing my beautiful friends made a square or two each and then someone was nominated to sew them all together.
I sat and cried and admired each square trying to guess who made each one.
I'm so lucky to be part of such a lovely group. Thank you guys, I love you all.
The yarn was given to me by my neighbour and friend, Emma. I simply cast on 100 stitches on circular needles and kept going until it was the right size.
Half way through, my cheapy circular needles broke, and I had to send Woody in to Purl City to buy me some new ones, he did good too,and bought me Knit Pros, which I am now in love with. (He does pass the shop on his way to work every day, I'm not that lazy!)
India, stole the resulting cowl, and it keeps her cosy while she waits at the bus stop for college.