Sugar And Spice....

5:45 pm

Source: via Jeanette on Pinterest

Reading Angie's latest stunning piece over at Glow, I've been thinking about my comment;

What is Florence made of? Sunshine, and sky, and clouds, and little knitted stitches on bamboo needles, tiny buttons and light cotton dresses with ribbons, the smell of a snuffed out candle, and paper drawer liners, a brush stroke of duck egg blue, porcelain skin, rosy cheeks and cold cold fingers. 

I meant every word, Florence is made up of all of those things, and more, but I still hate myself for again packaging her up like a pretty parcel. I have to do it, to me she was, is beautiful. I can very almost see how she would be now at two and a half (and a little bit more).
The cold truth is that I could tell you exactly what she was made of. I have her post mortem report right here. I can tell you how much her heart weighed, the length of her feet, and that her lungs were mirror images of each other.
Sometimes, I take out her post mortem report to read, to feel close to her, to remind myself she was really real. Macabre maybe, but it doesn't feel that way..although I've never told anyone I do this, not even Woody.
There are some people in this world who would say Florence was not a "person". To many I'm sure she was "just a baby", and to others "an angel", or simply "not meant to be".

She was our daughter, a sister, a grand daughter, a cousin, a niece....
She is our daughter.

Don't be shy, say hello!


  1. Duncan actually told me about this report a few days ago, because apparently Twitter was a raging battleground over it. I suppose its quite shocking, but Duncan said, in a funny way it makes people think again about pro-life issues. Is it not ok at birth? What about at 30 weeks pregnant? What about 25 weeks? or 20, or 18 weeks? I think it does make you think harder about it again. I read in a book someplace recently that some women feel a little soul come to them soon after conception (not necessarily in a religious context, just a life). I knew I was pregnant with each of my children before I did the tests or before symptoms developed, I was getting to know them from the very beginning. It is probably why you knew Florence when she was born, no matter how difficult that may be for some people to understand.

  2. I wont read it...but your darling little Florence is so very, very heart felt real. To me she is with the little lady birds that play in my garden on sunny afternoons.

  3. What you wrote is just beautiful.

    As for the article, well that is a can of worms and no mistake. I feel like I almost agree, or should agree, with both sides. I chose no to support Freddie's life though, because I knew that was best for him. I don't really know where that puts me.

  4. I miss Florence with you.

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  6. My oldest son has autism.

    I am glad he is here and I never wish he wasn't.

    Does the woman in this article consider him a person?

    Your sweet Florence is a person, too. I just wish you could hold her now.


    Cathy in Missouri

  7. Beautiful image and lovely words. Do you know, when I think of Florence, that is very close to what I have been imagining, your description. Those little knitted stitches and duck egg blue.

    I know I am also inclined to prettify my girls. When really, well . . . you know what J looked like in reality. Beautiful to me but also painful to see. Even to her mother.

    I totally understand your need to read the post mortem report. I sometimes take out Georgina's records too. They are a validation. Of who she was and of who she was in relation to me and my family.

    I think that they are both. The real baby, the real people who we met and who existed in our bodies and in this world for a brief time. And also the people that we imagine them to be? A mixture of the corporeal and the . . . supernatural? But not in a ghostly sense. A very plain kind of supernatural if that makes any sense whatsoever!

    I try not to tangle with the abortion debate, it's a thorny subject. I've got a living child who could still, legally, have been aborted when she born? And another where I agreed to remove life support? So, like Merry, where does that leave me? Just can't even go there. I don't think I could possibly agree with the premise of that article but it is hard to get to the root of any article in the DM!

  8. She is someone and she is thought of and loved xxx


Hi, I love to hear from readers, hate to think I'm talking to myself here, so don't be shy say hello!