four

6:39 am



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Each year I wonder how this came to be, each year I wish I was buying toys instead of flowers and candles.
Our darling Florence would have been four yesterday had she survived.
I've tried and failed to put into words exactly the impact of her missing from our lives has had. Mere words can never do justice to the agony.
Still, we wrap our pain carefully deep in our chest's and we carry on. We even smile and laugh and we know joy. We feel everything now, every little thing .
Nothing though will ever stop me wishing I could hold my sweet beautiful girl in my arms, take her to a toy shop and buy her a gift.
Instead I will share here a few photos from her day yesterday. Lady Mabel Wood (Florence's wood) is so beautiful at this time of year, brimming with wild flowers, butterflies and dragonflies and grasshoppers. Woody took the photo above of a moment of peace.

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Don't be shy, say hello!

13 comments

  1. There are no words to let you know how I wish this wasn't so.
    Nicky
    x

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  2. I totally echo Nicky's comment xxxxxxxx

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  3. There are really no words, only heartfelt tears and an aching heart. XXXXXXX

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  4. Wish i could hug you xxxz

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  5. Sending warm wishes, xx

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  6. Sending warm wishes, xx

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  7. I'm sorry she isn't here.

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  8. Hugs to you and know that she is in heaven. May your soul find some solace in that.

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  9. Thinking of you all xx

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  10. Just to let you know you and your family are in my thoughts.
    Clair

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  11. I was thinking of you this week x

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  12. Been thinking of you so much, and missing Florence. Things are getting bad here for me, it's become very difficult. He are you doing? I can't believe it's been four years, it actually feels like a year has passed, no more. I am still sick with grief, I hope that you are feeling a measure of peace however, we think of her so very often. How can this still be so hard?

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    1. I'm ok, right at this moment typing, but honestly it's hard and I've been getting a lot of physical symptoms and ptsd symptoms again. The thing is I just never know when they will come or what will trigger them, and I'm very aware that for most people this is not what they want to hear. How are you holding up? Henry is close in our hearts always x

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