Surprise Tears9:48 am
Some days the tears are near the surface, some days buried deep, and some days they surface suddenly to hot stingy eyes, and are accompanied by loud sobs I didn't know were there...or I was pretending they weren't.
I've been feeling really rather calm lately, eerily so, almost detatched. Like with any emotion I've tried to just feel what I'm feeling, just sit with it.I know whatever it is,it will change and there's little point denying it or trying to overide it.
This calmness is what it is, it's not an omen,if anything it's just my brains way of coping in these last weeks.
This morning though as I waved off Woody and the children, those hot stingy eyes gave me away, and for just a second I could picture an eleven month old little girl at my feet, waving them off.Then a second later could almost feel her head heavy on my shoulder.
I don't know how to get through the next few weeks. I don't know how to miss Florence and wait for baby boy without losing my mind.