Too Much TV

10:16 am

After dinner last night Woody came upstairs to find me watching Saving Babies , he just kinda winced at me, slightly rolled his eyes and settled down at his pc.
I've been watching a lot of "baby tv" recently. I kinda have this compulsion to watch, even shows like Saving Babies, which is about desperately sick babies.I watch, and I wince, and I cry and I wonder if they'll pull through (they always do...that can't be right can it? I mean do they film the ones that die then not show them?)
What I simply can't fathom about this particular show though is that these babies are so so poorly with often severe physical defects, unyet they are healthier than Florence was.
Florence couldn't even be stabilised enough to move her to a ventilator (she was ventilated by hand for five hours). The children's hospital though initially on alert to transfer her in, cancelled her transfer and advised withdrawal of treatment.
She had a perfect heart, a perfect brain, everything was perfect, she was beautiful and she was too sick to even get as far as those babies on tv.
Maybe I should just stop watching.

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8 comments

  1. Yes you should - TV's evil anyway ;-)
    Love,
    Daria

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  2. Was watching Survivors so missed it. Big hugs.xx

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  3. Sometimes I cannot help but watch those shows and I feel like I am punishing myself by watching them. It just does not always make sense to me.

    I found myself watching a show about women who never even knew they were pregnant. They never took vitamins and took care of themselves yet they have beautiful healthy babies.

    Thinking of sweet Florence. xx

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  4. i read a book all about the NICU a week after Aquila died. it would send me into tears everytime, but i could not focus on anything BUT babies and death and sickness and struggle. i am glad i read it now, because i feel it prepared me for things that could happen- IYKWIM

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  5. Cannot offer a suggestion on TV viewing... but be gentle on yourself.
    San xxx

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  6. Oh Jeanette, I do this to myself too. Why do we torture ourselves? It is so heartbreaking for us I think to know our girls were so big, healthy, perfect and ready for this world, yet we don't have them in our arms.
    Nothing in life could be more unfair than that.
    Love to you.
    xo

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  7. Oh Jeanette, I just can't watch them. I think about watching them but that is as far as I get.
    I have to agree with Hope's Mama, it's just heartbreaking. x

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  8. jeanette, you should stop watching, i used to do the same with ivf programmes, and you just end up feeling terrible, its like putting yourself thru torture, when the whole situation you are in just sucks and there is nothing you can do to change it, i think i used it as psychological self harm if u know what i mean, not good!! Take care hon x x

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