All The Little Things

7:53 am

The small talk in the street.(and wondering, "have they really forgotten?")
The first stawberries from the garden.(that never quite make it into the house.)
The cheeky robins sitting on the swing.(Who sat there keeping me company last year when I was in labour)
The Boden summer sale.(and the dresses I didn't dare buy.)
The summer term inset day.(and being grateful for a day at home.)

All the little things are still the same, and she should be here.

Every kick and wriggle from baby boy reassures me for a moment, then I wonder, was it too hard, was it his last?
I don't trust my body anymore, I want him out, I want him in my arms and alive and safe, and there are no guarantees.

I think there is a good chance I might lose my mind completely in the coming days.

Don't be shy, say hello!

19 comments

  1. I know I can't really understand but it must be so tough.

    She should be here. I'm so sorry that she isn't it. x

    ReplyDelete
  2. She should be here, my heart breaks for you that she isn't. She is not forgotten.

    ((hugs))

    ReplyDelete
  3. thinking of you xxx

    ReplyDelete
  4. If I didn't know it was pointless and not bearable to do it (at least I think it it will be if I ever get there) I'd tell you to start reading birth lists and reminding yourself that normally it is all just completely fine.

    But I just know that won't work. In my own personal dark moments, I try to tell myself the other 4 are here and just fine, even my other vbac one and that not all babies are in fact born only to die soon after.

    Thinking of you every day.

    ReplyDelete
  5. she should be here. it's awful that she isn't. Little boy will be here soon, the waiting must be torturous for you. I think you just have to have as many distractions as possible to help the time tick by now, to help keep you sane. You're almost there, you've come so far ((hugs)) I'll be over to annoy you again soon n help tick away a few more minutes:-)

    ReplyDelete
  6. you must be so frightened :-( xxx

    ReplyDelete
  7. I wish I could take the pain and worry away - I really do.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Sending hugs to you and hoping I can come over and distract you soon xxx

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hang in there...it is all you can do to survive and even then, survive some more.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Florence should be here with you...Am thinking of her and of you, take care of yourself

    ReplyDelete
  11. Remembering your little Florence, and wishing for some peace of mind as you struggle through these next few weeks. Many (((hugs))) to you.

    ReplyDelete
  12. i'll help you find it sweets, its all going to be ok xxx

    ReplyDelete
  13. I totally understand.
    Sending love and never forgetting Florence.
    xo

    ReplyDelete
  14. Sending you love, I wish it was all different xxxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  15. I really dont have any words of wisdom, I wish I did. I dont know how you will get through the days until Little boy is here, but some how you will (( )) In the remaining days of your pregnancy it feels like your online friends are joining together in a big circle around you, if only we could be there to protect you all and make you and little boy safe. I hope that doesnt sound too random or crazy ! xx

    ReplyDelete
  16. We'll never forget her. I think of you all often. I feel like Florence is in my heart.
    Love and kisses

    ReplyDelete
  17. Exactly this, what Maxine says, I feel like Florence is in my heart too.She is such a special baby.xxx

    ReplyDelete
  18. I can't imagine what you are going through just now, just know there are so many of us out here with you are Florence in our hearts wishing things could be different.
    Sending you all my love for the coming days. xxxx

    ReplyDelete

Hi, I love to hear from readers, hate to think I'm talking to myself here, so don't be shy say hello!