Six

9:25 am


, originally uploaded by indiaeden.


I've had a lot of practice answering the dreaded "How many children?" question .
Woody hasn't had the practice I've had. I could see the word hovering for a second or two on his lips, and then the sadness as he said "five"
It's just polite dinner conversation, a little light teasing about our family size, all well intentioned.
Everyone knows about Florence, but no one mentions her.
The room gets a little spinney, Woody and I exchange glances, that perhaps no one else sees.

x

Don't be shy, say hello!

15 comments

  1. I've heard Simon say "one" before. I don't blame him, I know how hard it is, but it just one small way we differ in all of this. I always say two.
    I know what you mean about that spinney room.
    xo

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  2. its never easy, now i am obviously pregnant i'm getting alot of 'is this your first?' i hate it everytime even though its a perfectly ordinary and legitimate question. i want to answer honestly, but not so it ends conversation and causes awkward silences, one day i'll find the right way to say it, sending love, anne xxx

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  3. i hate that question too. i say "six at home". because that's true. But i have 7 children. i miss my little girl, and i miss your little girl even though i never met her. :(

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  4. That's such a hard one...I hate that question every single time.

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  5. I understand. It's tricky for us because it depends on who we're talking to...and on who answers it between L and I.

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  6. Like Sally, I've heard my husband say "one" even whilst we still in the hospital. I sometimes say two, sometimes one. And, yes, it certainly makes the room spin. No matter which answer I pick.

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  7. Anonymous11:28 pm

    I still struggle with this answer. I think it is easier to say none then to explain and got through the whole story. Billy and i have exchanged that glance several times. If I am comfortable witht he person and get the feeling that the won't look at me like I have a disease or something..I will tell them 1. :-/

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  8. I'm not sure that it ever gets easier or that there's a "right" answer. If there is, please tell me what it is (smile).

    I hate the word "twins" as mine are and will forever be Triplets.

    Thinking of you, Sarah

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  9. Sending my love and hugs to all of you. My heart aches at these moments. Your little ones are always remembered and missed! It must be hard - you want to include your angel while it makes it uncomfortable for others. Hugs and tears.

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  10. Sending my love and hugs to all of you. My heart aches at these moments. Your little ones are always remembered and missed! It must be hard - you want to include your angel while it makes it uncomfortable for others. Hugs and tears.

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  11. I have met some very brave mummys on my current placement, and maybe its my uniform that makes them feel comfortable telling about their lost babies, but I always feel honoured and humbled when they do. the listeners uncomfortableness is theirs and not yours, you should all be proud to mention ALL your children.

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  12. I agree with Moonmama totally.

    People often only ask the question to fill the empty space and find some common ground. Considering all the many heartaches hidden behind the huge range of answers possible, it is odd that so many people think it is a "safe" icebreaker. I know I have been guilty of doing it myself :-(

    I think you should answer it however the hell you want to. If that makes the questioner uncomfortable, then maybe next time they will pick a different opener.

    One day, maybe things will be easier. I really do hope so.

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  13. It always makes me sick to say it. and it never gets easier.

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  14. Oh, that makes me upset and cross Jeanette! You have six children. Six. Poor Woody shouldn't have to think about his answer before giving it, if it makes people uncomfortable to talk about Florence that is their probem to deal with. You shouldn't have to sweep your beautiful little girl under the rug to meet other people's idea of social niceties.

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