After reading Angie's idea for video blogging,here I knew I wanted to take part, but I was also terrified, actually still am. My video is uploading as I type (I hope!) and I think I might have to just add it, grit my teeth and press publish before I change my mind.
Just quickly going through the video on my camera, I wish I'd chosen a better angle/better lighting, but vain as I am, I can't read through it again simply for my vanity, so you get the tired looking drained me ...sorry!



And you know something, seeing these words spoken by me, with my things around me, I still can't quite believe that yes, my daughter died.

I love a good cup of tea, I'm addicted to the stuff. I probably drink around 8 cups a day, well mugs really, giant comforting mugs of tea.My Mum will deny it, but I was given tea in a bottle as a baby...with planty of sugar in!!
This advertisement for tea has caught my eye recently, each time it appears on tv I'm captivated, it's only an advert for tea, but to me as a babylost Mama it tells another story.

I've never been very good at making dolls, my attempt today to make the little doll from Anna Maria Horner's book , Handmade Beginnings, was nothing short of a disaster. I shoved the poor lumpy bumpy strangely alien looking baby in the bag of toy stuffing , but Ernest fished her out, exclaimed "Teddy", gave her a kiss and toddled off with her!

Tonight we are remembering...

Sarah,Beth,Oliver,Charlotte,Freddie,Hope,Cullen,Emma,Peyton,Evel,Calypso,Henry,Lucia,
Margot,Joseph,Reid,Henry,Georgina,Iris,Ava,Micah,Teddy,Sophia and Ellie,Haloumi,Silas,Emma and Chase,Aquila,Isabella,Maddy,Ferdinand,Angel Mae,George,Olivia,Hannah,Micheal and an angel,Isabelle,Ellie,Emily Grace and Chloe Anne,India and her angel siblings,Erin, Elias,Henry Suzy and Cosmo, Jacob,James,Ryan,Alice, Christian,Lesley,Harvey,Meredith and of course our beautiful Florence Violet.
and there are more, so many more, too many more...








If I've missed your baby from the list above give me a prod and I'll add them, similarly if I've included your baby and you'd rather I hadn't just mail me and I'll sort it

October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day across the world. We would like to invite you to take part in the global 'Wave of Light'. Simply light a candle at 7pm and leave it burning for at least 1 hour to join us in remembering all babies that have died during pregnancy, at, during or after birth.
This can be done individually or in a group, at home or in a communal space. Wherever you do this, you will be joining a global wave of light in memory of all the babies who lit up our lives for such a short time.
www.babyloss-awareness.org

I'm really struggling with priorities at the moment. I seem to be involved in several different projects all at once on top of the general mumming of five lively children, which really is a full time job on it's own, and obviously my family are my number one priority.
My mind skips about from one barely finished, or in some cases barely started project to another, and I long for some peace, a moment to sit and read something other than the speed reading of an email or forum post. I dream of sitting feet up in my jammies with a cuppa and watching an old movie without any disturbances,(except maybe a cuddle or two) or having time to finally cast on that sweater for Ernest...
My sweet beautiful full of life Ernest, who is the busiest of all of my children, even Eden. I remember feeling Florence tumbling about in my belly and thinking how she'd be the busy one, a gymnast like Eden, never still.
Ernest though, he climbs,he climbs bookshelves, he climbs over the backs of chairs, he climbs the stairs,onto steps and into the sink....he's even wriggly when he sleeps.



He managed to pull my pump over the other day and snap off some fairly crucial parts, that was a moment or two of horror for Woody and I. We bodged it together and have some replacement parts on the way thankfully.



Of course, he's adorable, my little thrill seeker, and possibly the best excuse for falling behind with everything else.

I made this little heart way back when I was first pregnant with Florence, and when I was nesting later in my pregnancy I hung it on the door of her little cupboard that I'd painted for her, and had filled with clothes and nappies and all things newborn.
It's been hanging there all this time, but some of the stitches had come loose, and the stuffing was falling out. I'd look at it each time I pulled out an outfit or nappy for Ernest, but I didn't take it upstairs and fix it.
Today, I took it upstairs and stitched it back together, I used slightly mismatched thread, no one will notice, but I know.



I've been trying, and mostly failing to catch up with all the little jobs around here that have been neglected. One of them was to finally hang this painting. My mother in law bought this in memory of Florence just after she was born, but not thinking straight I simply shoved it in a cupboard. I unearthed it recently (along with another gift from that time.) read the inscription on the back and decided to hang it above Florence's cupboard in the children's bathroom. It looks rather sweet up there I think.

Each morning the sun streams into our bedroom, sometimes just for a short while before the customary clouds blot it out.
Each morning as those sunbeams peek through the curtains or light up the bathroom as I shower, I whisper a good morning to Florence.
I've done this since that morning two years ago when stood crying in the shower I was suddenly bathed in golden autumn sunlight.
This morning the dawn light was glowing so brightly it woke me up. My little girl, dancing light across the sky and calling "wake up Mama".
It's nonsense, but it doesn't matter, it eases my heart.

Life around here hasn't got any quieter since the children went back to school. I seem to be busier than ever.
I'm hoping to find my new rhythm over the next few weeks though.
I can slowly feel the particular kind of fog that accompanies taking care of a baby lifting, and with it maybe finally a sense of our new normal.
Maybe finally I can see how our family is, and maybe even a sense of the future?
Of course, there are still moments, days even. Like last weekend.
I was at a communication skills workshop, amongst friends, and not really expecting the emotions to come to the surface that did, but I'm glad I pushed myself out of my comfort zone. It's still so much of a surprise to me to see the new me. I'm not sure I like her much, but I'm getting more used to her.


Today we have been readying the garden a little for winter, giving the chickens enclosure a good clear out and arranging things so they have more space to scratch about.
They come out to play most days now and are so cute following the shake shake of the worms in the tub.




If I haven't got a baby in my arms, I've got a chicken!



And is it weird to want my hair the same colour as Cleo's feathers?

Ernest is taking his tentative first steps.
We finally had a little photoshoot with the outfit I designed for his birthday and didn't finish in time.





He looks cute, but he's currently playing a rough game with his big brother!

I love skirts,and dresses. I only own one pair of jeans and a pair of running trousers, so wear skirts and dresses most days. I find them so much more practical than jeans...no soggy hems after school runs in the rain for one thing.
So when I heard about Skirtember I knew I was going to have to join in,(though not on facebook, my piccies are on flickr) and so far I've had fun. I do wear skirts every day, but it's nice to think a little bit more about what I'm going to wear each day and maybe even to push myself out of my comfort zone a little too. I've realised I wear an awful lot of plain black v neck t shirts with my skirts and I think I need to consider some alternatives.
I've also realised I probably need to accessorize a bit more than I currently do.
Mostly though, this little bit of frivolous fun with clothes is a nice break for my tired brain, and it's good for me too I'm sure.

To celebrate Skirtember, and to enable a few of you reading I thought I'd share my favourite way of drafting a simple A line skirt. Skirts are so easy to make, and once you've tried this simple method for drafting your own A line skirt, it's so easy to adjust your pattern to make other skirts, maybe a wrap, maybe a pleated skirt, or maybe just experiment with fabrics and applique and trims.



I would say these instructions are probably suitable for someone who has a little sewing experience, but if you get stuck mail me, and I'll try my best to help you out.
I should point out that this method is not exactly the "correct" method, but it works well for me, and rules are there to be broken anyway!


Making The Pattern

Materials Needed:
Dressmakers graph paper
Tracing paper
HB pencil
Ruler
Tape measure
French curve or flexible curve (optional)

Take your measurements:
a) skirt length, length you want your skirt to be
b) waist measurement .
c) hip measurement
d) waist to hip , distance vertically between waist measurement and hip measurement.

I round up any measurements just to be sure the skirt will fit, I'd rather have a skirt that's too big and needs taking in, than a skirt that's too small.

Drawing the pattern:
Using a sharp pencil and ruler transfer your measurements onto the graph paper as follows:
a skirt length
b waist measurement plus 4 cms ease, and then divided by 4 (eg: 84cm waist will become 88cm,divided becomes 22cm)
c hip plus 4cms ease divided by 4
d waist to hip




Join all measurements together.

Using your french curve/flexible ruler, or just by eye curve up the hem as shown on the diagram (e)

Again using your curve or by eye curve down the waist, (f) this is your back cutting line. Mark a further
curve approx 2.5 cms below this (g), this is your front waist cutting line.

At this point trace the pattern piece into two, (one front piece and one back piece.)
Don't forget this pattern piece does not at this point include any seam or hem allowances. You can either
add these on now, or at the cutting stage.
(1.5 cm seam allowance , 2.5cm hem allowance )

You should now have two pattern pieces that look something like this:



NB Before cutting into your best piece of fabric to make your skirt, try out your pattern with some fabric you are not in love with. Even an old bedsheet will work, just in case you need to add a few cms here and there.

Making The Skirt

Materials Needed:

Approx 2 metres of your chosen fabric (for an average size 10-12)
Matching sewing thread
invisible skirt zip
bias binding
hook and eye

Cutting Out :

Press your fabric with selvedges together, and place your pattern pieces with the centre front/centre back on the fold.
Pin in place, and cut out carefully.(remember if you haven't already add your seam allowances.)

You should now have two pieces, one front and one back.

Making Up:

Neaten the raw seams of each side of the skirt pieces using your preferred method.



Insert the invisible zip in the left hand side seam . This you tube video explains very clearly how to do this. (and saves me the bother!)



Work the side seams



Press.

With the skirt inside out, try it on and work out where you need to add darts. Two at the front, and two at the back. You may need to get a friend to help you with this bit.You may have measured so accurately that you find you don't need darts, or perhaps just at the back of the skirt. Don't worry if this is the case, your skirt will be finished all the sooner!







Once happy with the position of the darts, work those and press to the centre.



With right sides together sew the bias binding to the waist edge, and press, tucking in the raw edges at either end.






Stitch binding in place.
Press



Add hook and eye fastening.

Work hem. Press

Your skirt is now complete, but why not add some detail? Maybe a patch pocket, applique or trim. Use your imagination and have fun!

My Dad would've turned 70 today. 70!! I can't even imagine him as such an old man, he died when he was only 46.
Happy Birthday Dad, love you. x

And this is the photo I just sent to Woody...just waiting for the phone call.....

I woke up this morning to glorious September sunshine, and decided I needed a change.
While sipping my morning cuppa and catching up with blogland I was reminded that Cedar over at The Vintage housewife had today added my little blog button to her sidebar.
Browsing around her lovely blog, I came upon this tutorial to cut your own fringe, and since I've been wanting a fringe for a while,I thought "why not?".
I always used to cut my own hair when I was younger, and I'm not really precious about my hair,so I fished out the scissors.
It's really hard to photograph your own hair without looking sort of ridiculous,so this is the best I could manage. You'll just have to take my word for it, that actually the fringe kinda works...just don't look too closely, especially if you are a hairdresser!!

Sand in the sandwiches,
Sand in the tea,
Flat, wet sand running
Down to the sea.
Pools full of seaweed,
Shells and stones,
Damp bathing suits
And ice-cream cones.
Waves pouring in
To a sand-castle moat.
Mend the defenses!
Now we're afloat!
Water's for splashing,
Sand is for play.
A day by the sea
Is the best kind of day.

by Shirley Hughes

We braved the sea side on Monday.Llanddona on Anglesey. It was windy, really windy.
Angus had to sit on the beach tent to stop it blowing away.


I was determined to picnic on the beach, despite the wind, much to Grandmas amusement.

At least the weather was good for kite flying!


I did admit defeat eventually and allowed Grandma home to her warm fire, while we headed off for more seaside adventures at Penmon and a wander around Beaumaris.

We ended the day cosy in The Ship Inn at Red Wharf Bay, where we all ate delicious food before heading home.