More and more forevers.

11:44 am

A year ago, floudering and stumbling around the internet trying to focus through tears I came across others, others like me. I clung to their words, these other mothers (and fathers) who were further along, their words resonated, and they gave me hope, they were surviving, if they could then maybe I could too?
I looked up to them, wanting to fast forward my life, to see that I would be ok, that we would all be ok.

A year on, and I am surviving, it is possible, but it never stops hurting for any of us no matter how much time elapses, we just find a home for the pain, we co exist.

Something that I realised early on, but that becomes more and more clear is that forever is forever, and ever, and always.

I'm broken hearted each time I read another new blog, another broken hearted parent, floundering just as I did, another baby cold in their grave, another forever.

I wish I could make it better for all of feeble wish against the might of the universe.

Don't be shy, say hello!


  1. I feel just the to you

  2. I too searched the internet through tears and panic looking for advice and instruction, 'how to get through this'. Looking for someone to tell me I was going to be ok. The rawness and agony have softened but the deep sadness will always be there.

  3. I still struggle with that. Forever is forever.

    I often feel my daughter's death reduced me back to a questioning child who just wants to know why and how and really. Is it really true that she isn't coming back? Not ever?

    I wish I could make it better for all of us too. xo

  4. I still can't really believe that I won't ever know him. It's astonishing.

  5. xxx to all of you.

  6. You know, when you see a friend go through this, all you want is to do something to make it better. And you can't. {{{hugs}}}

  7. sorry jeanette but you were one of the first i connected with and are one that i look up to, being 6 months ahead of me. you have definitely helped make it better for this little lady so thank you. loads of love xxx anne

  8. I think I'm one of the floundering and stumbling ones right now and it is so nice to connect with others, those in the same place and those on up ahead. So glad there are so many (like you) willing to share their stories.

  9. I know exactly what you mean. It must be just about my second anniversary as I stumbled on this place about this time two years ago.
    I'm still so speechless for all of us.


Hi, I love to hear from readers, hate to think I'm talking to myself here, so don't be shy say hello!