30 weeks today

12:47 pm

And I think I'm finally starting to think of myself as really pregnant, which if you could see the size of me might sound slightly crazy.
Baby boy is big, currently estimated at 3lbs 6oz, I know those estimates are not terribly reliable, but he feels about that. And he's still a he. I double checked yesterday at my scan.The sonographer was very patient with my paranoid questions.
I also saw my consultant yesterday, and we are on track to induce sometime after 37 weeks, so hey maybe I've only another 7 weeks to go...we'll see.
I'm still telling everyone 10, and telling myself the same, while focusing on getting through the next minute,hour,or day depending on how emotional I am at the time, and these days I'm very emotional.

My consultant is a very lovely man, and yesterday in the process of explaining something to me he used an example of a woman who had two babies die. Now my logical brain understood the whole of what he was telling me, but my crazy babylost brain just picked out "again" it happened "again" and that word has been whirring around in my head ever since.

I've tried not to imagine baby boy in my arms,but sometimes I admit I do, just for a second.
I don't have the same feelings I had when I was pregnant with Florence, I do believe he'll make it, but then I know like any other babylost parent does that it can happen.

I often have that old Smiths song in my head, just begging the universe to please please please...

Don't be shy, say hello!

12 comments

  1. keeping you in my thoughts for the time until baby boy is here to be peaceful, and looking forward to the happy post announcing his arrival!

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  2. Wow, only 7 weeks left! Where has the time gone! Glad the scan went well.
    I can imagine that what the consultant said might have been put in a better way though, geez.

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  3. congratulations on your pregnancy then jeanette! i hope the next 7 weeks flies by for you, i love the smiths, not the most positive of bands, not the happiest of chaps, but i love them just the same. glad too that you baby is still a he, sending lots of love xxx

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  4. Oh, my goodness - that song is so sad in this context...really, really hoping you get what you want this time too. x

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  5. Ooo, what a lovely weight your little boy is! You know me, I'm all about the weight. Still!

    Jeanette, I know I can't really understand as I haven't been through a subsequent pregnancy. I can only imagine who scary it is to go through all of this knowing, in your very bones, that there are no guarantees, that pregnancy doesn't always end happily and sadly, again does happen on occasion.

    But I am so hopeful for you and your little boy. So hopeful. Listen up universe. Surely you have to listen to Morrissey?

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  6. It starts to feel very, very real from about 30 weeks I think. I remember hitting that stage with Angus.
    Holding you very much in my thoughts the coming weeks.
    xo

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  7. The universe will hear you. It has to! xxxx

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  8. Cheering you and that lovely big boy on. I can't imagine the anxiety and hope and fear all mixed in. Loved that Smiths song so much years ago but it is entirely more poignant in this context. Sending you love. Keep moving with vigor to reassure your mum, baby boy!!!!

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  9. Finally sorted blogger! Keeping up the prayers, it can be so tiring when you are on the home run, never mind having to deal with all that you have going on.

    Am sure everything will be ok, keep trusting, eh? Please will you email me your address as I'd love to be able to send you a little something in the post.
    Love and big hugs San xx

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  10. MY prayers are with you Jeanette.

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  11. Trying to imagine how you must feel. Hugs and more hugs.

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