Oh Shit!

3:01 pm

I think I may have just invented a living Florence. Waddling home from school in the heat, a Mum I don't know,but whose daughter is in Sid's class asked me if this baby was my third.(I had Angus and Sid with me). I replied that no, it was my sixth, and she was totally gobsmacked, exclaiming loudly to her daughter and husband that I was expecting my sixth baby.
Then she looked at my large bump and asked when I was due, cue more exclamations at my size and how much bigger I'm going to get by August. (sigh)
By now I was trying to avoid her,but she lives on the next street to me, and we were going the same way.
"Do you know what you are having?" She asked.
"Yes a boy" says me
"Oh, well I guess you have some girls too?"
"Yes" and I start to shake, and glance over at my friend who has now caught up with us.
We cross the road and I scurry away feeling like shit, and leaving her with the impression I have five living children, and no doubt next time I see her I'll have to pop her bubble and tell her one of them is infact dead.
Shit shit shit!!!

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19 comments

  1. I did that today :( I filled in a questionnaire and said i had 5 children and one was a boy who was 0 :(

    Spectacularly awful whichever way you do it.

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  2. Oh Merry I hate questionairres that require childrens details, I just can't fill them in.x

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  3. I would react much the same way, though a part of me thinks we shouldn't give a rats ass what other people think about our oddities now that we can't answer that question easily. It's just not that simple anymore. Much love to you.

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  4. oh yes been there too, painful .. hugs sweet mama xxx

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  5. He is your sixth child. I would say the same as Curls .. the rats arse bit. Honestly. Let her think and know what she wants to. You don't have to explain anything. I can imagine that it must be very very hard to have to tick boxes when they just so black and white. xx

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  6. He is your sixth child. The rest is none of her business unless you want it to be. That lady's probably not giving it a second thought and if she does hear about Florence from anyone else she'll probably be full of sympathy about your loss, rather than thinking anything else about what you said today.

    Much love to you,

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  7. It's no consolation, but I've done it too.

    x

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  8. I just want to give you many hugs. I second the "You don't have to tell her anything you don't want to" comment. If she finds out about Florence from someone else then so be it, and she'll probably regret saying what she said. I think it was very very insensitive of her to say "I guess you have girls too", no matter what your situation is. What if you only had sons, what's wrong with little boys? Some people just don't think...

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  9. I fully agree with what Jackie above ^^^ said. He is your sixth the ins and outs of it all are none of her business unless you choose it to be so xx

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  10. Don't feel bad, He will be baby number 6. Plain and simple, just as Florence will always be baby number 5. Don't beat yourself up, what else could you have said. Anything else would not have been true. Be as kind and understanding to yourself as you are to everyone else. You deserve it!

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  11. You don't have to explain anything to her. It's none of her business

    As others have said the new baby will be your 6th child. For me I always consider myself as having 2 brothers, ok, only one is earthside but even though the other brother has passed, he is still my brother and always will be.

    Don't feel bad, you don't have to explain anything to anyone.

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  12. i'm with everyone else, he is definitely your 6th child and i would have done exactly the same. shes a mother and she would understand and not think it strange i'm sure, you don't need to explain anything to her at all, sending love xxx anne

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  13. I still hate that question - I always get 'Is she your first?'

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  14. I think all of us in this shitty club have done that at some point. Nice to fake it once in a while. It sounds so much nicer to say they are alive, or even hint that they are.
    xo

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  15. Yup. Toby is ALWAYS my fourth and sometimes I don't explain to the enquirer that my third is dead. I once let a women at ante-natal swimming believe Emma was in a creche somewhere (she was 40 weeks pregnant. Didn't want to burst her bubble) The thing that always chokes me is when they say "WOW. You must have your hands full". Not full enough ... never full enough, ever.

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  16. He is your sixth, I hate it too when people ask how many children I have, saying three seems odd but saying two means I've forgotten

    You dont need to put anyone right sounds like the woman needs a lesson in manners

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  17. What Tinder said! (((())))

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  18. I've done that. But knowing I would never see the person again I let them think my daughter was alive. It was much easier then to explain what happened. (((Hugs)))

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  19. I do that all the time...
    "is this going to be your first?"
    No... my second.
    I can't deny her. Can't do it.

    Last night I said to a friend that time is moving slower the nearer we get to baby's birth.

    She said "yes, it is that way with your first"

    I said "this is not my first!" (she was at the hospital with my for goodness sake!)

    She apologised - she'd meant that I don't have living children to keep me distracted.

    ugh. This is a minefield. :(

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