Tough Week

10:49 am

I'm slowly slowly starting to see some light after a bloomin tough week.
Monday was back to routine, we hobbled along to school on the icy pavements, through the grey slush and the dog poop, with the biting cold wind on our faces.
No sooner had I got home than I was called out again to collect one very upset Eden. I brought her home, and we talked and we cried and we figured some stuff out. I think she's ok now...well y'know, she's grieving,but she's ok.
India has been spoiling for a fight since she learned of the rainbow baby. This is her way, it's hard. She's trying to process everything, but she's almost 14 and just being almost 14 is hard enough.
I did wonder the other evening if I could really do this? I'm trying to be a good mother to my living children, my dead child and my growing bean. How do I do all of that when I'm still dealing with flashbacks, nightmares, insomnia, and oh yes not to forget the morning sickness?
And how do I be a good wife? I don't talk about Woody's grief here, that's his to talk about or not, as he chooses. Like me, he's doing ok, that doesn't mean he is ok.
Like I said, it's been a tough week.

Don't be shy, say hello!

20 comments

  1. That is tough. Ive no words or advice and just to offer a hug isnt enough either. You all have so much to deal with, the fear, the sadness & the general trudge of every day.
    It may not help but, I 'hear' what you say and everytime I read it I wish you the strength to carry on & see you ALL through
    x

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  2. Thinking of you Jeanette. All my love and strength coming your way.
    Lizzy x

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  3. oh hon I find it hard enough with one toddler and a miscarriage behind me. Be gentle with yourself and give everything a good pinch of time. And don't forget all those lovely hormones that smack you on the back of the head when you just think it can't get any worse. Plus it's January. Everything sucks in January.

    You'll get there (((((hugs)))))

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  4. Hoping that light becomes brighter..x

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  5. thinking of you, mama. You are incredibly strong.

    Love and light
    colleen

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  6. Sending hugs to you all xxx

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  7. congratulations Jeanette, I've just caught up with your news, it must be hard, but it's exciting at the same time i bet, sending love x

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  8. Teenagers are a challenge at the best of times but with all that you have all been through, there are bound to be "moments". Like you they must be pleased about the bean, yet also naturally frightened about the prospect of it all and still grieving the death of precious Florence. I'm amazed you are all still standing!
    Love, Hugs and Prayers, San xx

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  9. Sorry to hear you had a tough week :-( Hope the light gets a little brighter. ((hugs))

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  10. Thinking of you all x

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  11. Oof. It does sound so hard Jeanette. I'm thinking of you lots x

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  12. I am thinking about you. 14 is a tough age. My step-kids are teenagers and had to "adjust" when I was pregnant. Now they are grieving.

    I wish you strength and send you much love!

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  13. just take one day at a time its tough for each member of your family.rest when you can

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  14. I bet the cold weather isn't making things easier for you-it makes the best of us miserable! I look forward to the spring and hope things are looking up for you soon xxxx

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  15. Your family are lucky to have you xxx

    BTW it was lovely to see you for that brief second on Tuesday xxx

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  16. I was thinking of you the other day.
    The week is almost over and next week is going to be a good one.
    (((hugs)))

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  17. One moment at a time is all you can do...all any of us can do. breathe deep and hold tight. Thinking of you all xxx

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  18. (((hugs))) Jeanette. Some days are just hard.

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  19. Big, big hug from me, Jeanette. I'm sorry it's been a tough week for you and poor India (poor mum, too). So hard. It's hard on everyone. Morning sickness, leave this happy-sad mum alone because she has enough to deal with already! xo

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  20. fingers crossed here for no slush and an easier upcoming week*
    (asuckerforgerberas.wordpress.com)

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