Bittersweet

2:01 pm


, originally uploaded by indiaeden.

I'm feeling rather sick having just eaten most of a large bar of Green and Blacks bittersweet cherry chocolate. I can't even decide if I like that particular flavour, but you know it was here and open....
It did occur to me that it's rather an apt chocolate treat for someone like me. The dark bitter chocolate is satisfying, and the sour/sweet cherries make me wince, but I still like their intense sweetness.
It's chocolate, but it's painful, not too indulgent.

I've just tidied up Florence's cupboard, (I guess we have to stop calling it Florence's now? ). I've taken out the few little pink things, a couple of dresses, and this little dress.



I bought this dress from a lovely little boutique in Malvern last Summer. The children had to help pull me up the steep hill to the shop, and spotting this dress I just had to buy it. I just knew we were having a girl, and the shop had a sale, so I indulged.

This little dress is now going into Florence's memory box, it's hers and always was. I imagined her wearing this on a sunny day, all her little pink limbs on show, warm in my arms.

I miss her so much, and everything she might've been.

Eight months is a long time sweetheart. Catherine wrote this the other day:

It is a very long time.
Longer than I realised.
An expanse that unfolds and unfolds continually.
Without her.


This rainbow captivated us all on Monday evening, eight months since we said Goodbye.

Don't be shy, say hello!

5 comments

  1. What a beautiful rainbow. I love Florence's little dress, I wish she was here to wear it. I have my girls' clothing too (just a few pieces) and they will always be just for them. Thinking of you and Florence...Happy 8 months sweet girl. xx

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  2. A beautiful rainbow to help you through. We had the rainbow here too and I thought of you and your 'rainbow baby' when I saw it. Florence's dress is lovely, it must have been tough doing her cupboard, you are so strong Jeanette.
    xxx

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  3. How poignant the rainbow appearing in the sky... so sad you having to take courage in both hands and sort out Florence's cupboard.
    Continued hugs and prayers
    San xxx

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  4. stunning rainbow! thinking of you as always xxx

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  5. we had the rainbow(s) here too :-)

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