Never Enough

12:36 pm


Florence, originally uploaded by indiaeden.

When Florence was born Woody grabbed the camera from the shelf and hastily took a few shots of her . Four in all, grainy hastily taken photos in poor light. The only four photos of her alive.
Later in hospital, the midwives suggested they take some more of the three of us. We were not sure at the time, after all we had four precious shots at home of her alive. The midwives took five more photos, you can clearly see the tears in our eyes on those photos.
When we took the children into the hospital to see Florence that evening,I grabbed my camera as we headed out. I took as many shots as I could of the children with their baby sister. I didn't really consider lighting or composition, and I was worrying over Florence's delicate body. Her lungs were at that point saturated with blood, and the slightest movement would cause her to bleed out through her nose.

So we have perhaps twenty photos of her, some no one outside of us have ever seen, though to us she's beautiful on every one.We know to others she may not be.

Twenty or so photos is just not enough, a thousand photos would never be enough,but I wish we'd taken more.

After seeing Sally's beautiful necklace in a recent post by her, I showed it to Woody, and he has ordered a similar one for me for Mothers Day (14th March here in the UK). I had to choose two photos for it and I wished I had more to choose from. I could never tire of looking at her, not ever.

Don't be shy, say hello!

20 comments

  1. That photo of her is GORGEOUS. She is absolutely beautiful.

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  2. Everytime I look at the photo of Florence nestled in at the breast, it makes my heart ache, the photo just radiates love and peace.

    Yes, a million photos would not be enough.

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  3. That is a beautiful picture of Florence and what a nice gift Woody is getting for you. ((hugs))

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  4. She's beautiful, Jeanette. Hugs.

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  5. She is beautiful. It is so hard to know what to do in those first hours. Nothing can prepare you for this loss. I am impressed that you have the forethought to take as many photos as you did. I can't wait to see the necklace! xx

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  6. my goodness what a beautiful forever baby

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  7. beautiful


    just beautiful

    xx

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  8. She is beautiful little girl and although only in your arms for a short while, in your hearts forever.

    Sending you lots of hugs for this coming Mother's Day.

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  9. Love the photo you posted! Florence is beautiful. I too wish I had more pictures, but as you said... A thousand photos would not even be enough.

    So excited you ordered the necklace!

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  10. Florence is so, so beautiful in the photo you posted. I am pleased you managed to get those precious photos and that you will be able to have such a lovely piece of jewellery with you always. I will always remember talking to one of my patients (I'm a District Nurse) who told me of her baby who was stillborn. It was a LONG time ago, she wasn't allowed to hold her baby and of course she didn't get any photos. Her pain was so great as she told me that she couldn't remember what her baby looked like and how she wished she'd been allowed just one cuddle. Those short precious hours you had with Florence will never be enough but I'm so glad things have changed.
    All my love this Mothers Day Jeanette xxxx

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  11. I can't think of anything to say, it's heartbreaking to read all you guys have been through. Hope the necklace provides a beautiful memento of your forever baby.
    With love
    San xx

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  12. Florence is absolutely beautiful.
    Just a perfectly precious little girl. It is so special that you have the photos that you have of her.

    Love and light
    colleen

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  13. She's beautiful. Xxxx

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  14. Jeanette, Florence is absolutely beautiful.

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  15. All the photos in the world would never be enough. I have a lot more than you, but still I weep for more.
    So glad you're getting a necklace. Best of luck chosing your photos for it.
    With love.
    xo

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  16. Lovely photo of your little one.xxx

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  17. Florence is beautiful xxx

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  18. takes my breath away..

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  19. Beautiful little angel. (((hugs)))

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