All Done.

8:58 am

I can hear the rain outside, I haven't looked out of the window yet,but I imagine the rain has washed away most of the snow by now.
Christmas is done.I'm glad.
The decorations will stay up until New Years day,but that's it Christmas 2009 is over.
You know, actually it wasn't that bad,it wasn't that different to our usual Christmas'. The kids got up early, we opened presents, we ate too much chocolate.
The only difference was the visit to the cemetery in the morning. We took Florence a helium filled Christmas balloon, some roses, and some decorated gingerbread biscuits.(for the birds). We had to use a flask of hot water to defrost her headstone, and to release the frozen roses from their vase,it was cold and snowy. I tried not to worry that Florence was cold under the snow, I always remind myself that she was buried in cashmere booties to keep her toes cosy.
The cemetery was the busiest I've ever seen it. I'm rarely there alone, but on Christmas day there was even difficulty parking, there was almost a party atmosphere. I found it really touching to see so many people visiting their loved ones. Yes, some were red eyed from crying,but some were smiling, and some even having the odd snowball fight.
I rarely cry at Florence's graveside,but the tears were stinging my eyes, and I found it harder to leave than usual. I just wished she could come home with us,to the warm.

Christmas evening we lit a paper lantern for Florence, the children watched from an upstairs window, Woody and I from the garden, we could see it's light floating waaay off into the distance for longer than we imagined we would.Christmas wishes and kisses for our much loved and much missed baby girl.

Don't be shy, say hello!

11 comments

  1. I found Christmas to be relatively easy, but last night I spent a long time thinking about Iris and Florence and all of our unlucky babies. I really do think it is such shit luck, isn't it? And that's a total understatement, of course, be but it just went round and round my head.

    Lots of love to you Jeanette x

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  2. 2009 is almost done. Love for 2010 xxx

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  3. Sending you and your family much love for 2010. xxx

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  4. Ah I'm glad you took Florence a helium balloon!

    I've seen one of those little lanterns going skywards near my house on an autumn evening a few months ago, thought then how beautiful it looked - what a pretty way to remember your baby girl.

    Farewell 2009, love to you all in 2010

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  5. The paper lantern is beautiful and a lovely way to remember Florence. I'm glad christmas wasn't as hard as you expected it to be xxx

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  6. Oh sweet mama, I've been thinking of you all over Christmas. Your baby won't be cold ever, she holds onto the warmth of your love.

    I really hope that 2010 brings you some happiness. xxx

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  7. My thoughts are with you. I know how hard things like christmas and birthdays are when you have a loved one missing.

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  8. Thinking of your sweet Florence this Christmas and New Year's. I wish she could have come home with you. xo

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  9. I'm glad Christmas wasn't as bad as you expected, I was thinking about you and your family.

    I loved the picture of the paper latern.

    ((hugs)) for the new year

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  10. I thought about you and Florence on Christmas. And I gave Maisie a huge hug.
    In my thoughts

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