Head Spinning

3:16 pm

, originally uploaded by indiaeden.

Today Woody and I met with the consultant paediatrician who treated Florence. The post mortem results are still not back (fifteen weeks and counting.),and we still have no date for the inquest,but we all felt we needed to meet and just go over the events of Florence's death to try and get a few questions clear in our minds.
I was really nervous about the meeting, and had a prepared list of questions to ask.
The doctor was absolutely lovely. She talked us through Florence's treatment, and answered all of our questions.
We were a little surprised to hear her say that actually it may not have been a heart defect at all. She explained that they were treating Florence for either an "overwhelming bacterial infection" or a heart defect, as symptoms for both are very very similar, and until the post mortem results come back we wont know for sure if it was her heart.(I hope I understood that correctly.)
She also said, if it wasn't her heart,and was an infection we may never know what it was exactly.
I'm not at all sure what I think about that to be honest.
I do know that speaking with her has settled my mind more than I thought it would.
I told her I'd been worrying about our other children's health since Florence died, and she has made an appointment for her to see them all, and to check their hearts just to put my mind at rest.
I'm not at all sure how to explain to the children, especially the older girls that they need to go to hospital next week to check their hearts. I think they will make the connection between dead sister and check ups. I don't want to scare them. I'm going to have to think on that.
We are waiting to hear from the consultant Obstetrician for an appointment too. I hope that goes as well as today's.

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  1. We too had a long wait for a coroners report when my dad died at home. It was a time of limbo for us as we wanted & needed answers, too many what ifs.
    Sending you strength & light as always.

  2. i'm glad it went as well as it did today and that the dr was lovely and caring. praying for PM results and more answers soon, and also for you finding words to explain to the girls about the check ups, and for their peace of mind.
    much much love xx

  3. Just keep it simple with them, you don't know what was wrong with florence but you want to see that all is ok with them. my hubbie has a heart defect and the kids might of needed checking so we decided that you could not lie to them, if there was something wrong, then they would not trust you in the future.

  4. Oh, I'm so sorry you haven't had your answers yet Jeanette.

    I'm in the camp of being honest with your kids. One of my colleagues has this little saying that because space abhors vacuum, in the absence of knowledge we invent all sorts of ideas that are often more worrying than the truth.

    Thinking of you xx

  5. I'm so glad the doctor was so kind and open with you. Hope you do get the results soon. I don't know what to do about your older girls, but I know my boys are pretty intuitive when it comes to things and they'd probably, as you've said of your girls, connect the dots. I'm with After Iris and would be honest - playing up the just to be safe side of it all. (((Hugs)))

  6. Hope you get your results back soon, the waiting is so hard. I had mine back for Bella already. Although it didnt show anything, getting the results back seemed to be a little bit of closure.
    Thinking of you xxx

  7. Jeanette, I often find you and your family in my thoughts, and came to read your blog to see if there were any updates on your family. Just writing to tell you, though I don't know you well, I am sending my love across the ocean. -Kristi

  8. I hope you get the results soon. They had told me that Morgan's would be back in 6-8 weeks, and I did not get them until 8 MONTHS later. And the results were that she died of unknown causes. I will never know what killed her...


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