October 19th Capturing Grief

5:20 pm

October 19th Project, originally uploaded by indiaeden.

Hmmm, this is not an easy one. Looking back over the past three years I can see that I have been involved in various projects.
My first project was making Florence's burial gown, but I barely remember making that.
I also put together a scrap book for her, which I've never photographed, that's just for us.
I've made blankets, and burial pouches and knitted hats for my local hospital.
I've taken part in various giving projects on various blogs, including the 25 days of giveaways each Christmas.
I've designed a range of fabrics in memory of Florence, and also a range of childrens wear. My Flossie Pinafore pattern is a free download on my blog, and when I have market days I donate 10% of my sales to SANDs.
Somehow though, none of this ever seems quite enough.
I don't have the confidence to do anything more specific, and maybe not the inspiration. I struggle because Florence died full term, and no one really knows why.
No one is to blame.
Florence was a "perfect little girl"
No one could save Florence.
I have nothing to campaign for, nothing to pin a project on...except maybe awareness?
Maybe that's what this blog does now? Mind you, even there it's so confusing...my blog about sewing and baby death and failed breastfeeding....hmmm.
I don't like todays theme, and tomorrows will be just as hard, that's about Charity.

Don't be shy, say hello!


  1. But isn't that the truth of it. Florence is a part of your life and her death is one part of it - not the whole. She is there in the sewing and the rest. Her death didn't give you a free pass on other hurts or struggles. For me that's what your blog does. It shows the ongoing impact. The ongoing love. xx

  2. The blog shows love. Love for your family, love for all your children, love for sewing, and especially love for being a Mum. Sometimes things just happen for no reason, but your love and your entire family keep you going.

    With love, Heather

  3. It's never confused me. Your blog. And ditto what Hannah said.

    And you didn't fail at breastfeeding. Ernest was fed with milk from your breast. You didn't fail! Neither of you did! In fact you triumphed where 99% of people would have given up.

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