Day Eleven

12:19 pm

Day 11 - a photo of you recently and how it makes you feel seeing it now.

Older and fatter.

I took this photo especially for this post. Ernest had been crying and had fallen asleep on my shoulder.
I hate having my photo taken, I always feel so gawky and self conscious, and the resulting photographs show someone I just don't recognise.
I feel this more keenly since Florence, much like I now find it difficult to look in the mirror. I obviously have to look in the mirror to put on my make up and dry my hair, but I've perfected looking just enough, not too much.
I think my eyes look too sad, too lined and tired. I'm certain those lines were not there before Florence, maybe they were I just didn't see them.

Don't be shy, say hello!


  1. You look gorgeous. I think your eyes do look a bit sad, but also incredibly wise and compassionate. Such a cool shot.

  2. The eyes are the window to the soul and my goodness how you've suffered.

    Praying that something will shift soon and that you will find peace even if it is only for a wee while. After all lets face a house with teenagers/tweenagers is not exactly peaceful is it?!!

    Love San xx

  3. What Angie said. I look SO much older since Emma died - I've got more than a smattering of grey now.

  4. honey give yourself a break, you are a mother of 6 and you look amazing.

    "..she has a stain on her shirt, dark hair in a messy knot, and the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. They're pale, like a lioness, almost golden, but they look like they've done their fair share of crying. But we all know a sky with clouds is much more interesting than one that doesn't have any."
    -Jodi Picoult, House Rules

    xxx anne

  5. We first met years back at Sewing for Pleasure, actually it was in a pub, and either we were both pregnant with our now 8 year olds, or you were pregnant with Sid (but I think it was Angus). And I remember thinking how stylish you looked - you were so much your own person. Sometimes people know just what to wear to make them look good, but they don't follow fashion, and they look incredible. And when I see this photo of you, I think of that day all those years ago and you don't look any different to me. Yes, on the inside you will have changed beyond recognition, but on the outside to me you still look like the same person.

  6. Thanks guys, and Cybele, you just made me cry! (I was pg with Sid I think.)

  7. I think you look very beautiful on this picture Jeanette. You have a wonderful face for a painting. Your lips are just perfect. You look like a grown up pre-raphelite beauty.
    The photo makes me cry. I think because I've not seen you since before Florance was taken away. I think aswell because it is not often we see such a frank and honest image front on and staring straight into the lens. I love the fact that you've still got a small smile and a look of hope amounst the sadness in your eyes.

    (That quote is lovely Anne.)

  8. love the shot. yes...gorgeous.

  9. I love the picture. Probably because I know what you mean about the eyes. I saw myself in the mirror and though the same exact thing. Will they ever come alive again? I wonder it very often...


Hi, I love to hear from readers, hate to think I'm talking to myself here, so don't be shy say hello!